Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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