And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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