He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize