Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
