Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
