So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
