Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
