So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
