Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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