hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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