I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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