make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
