When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
