how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Two words: blizzard sex
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
