my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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