your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
