I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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