Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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