I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
