And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
