Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
