My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
