do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
