If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize