We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I believe in your delicious
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
