Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
