hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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