He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
