How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
