dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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