Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize