you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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