what day is it and did you see me today?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize