I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
