absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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