dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
