i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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