I'm eating all of the evidence.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
