uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
