you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
