I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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