You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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