Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Farmville is her only friend.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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