This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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