I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
