awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
