I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize