Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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