she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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