i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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