He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
