I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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