Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
