i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
