Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
