i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
